Today I got an e-mail from a student saying that she lives in [city about 225 miles from here], so she wouldn't be able to attend class and wanted to know if she could just turn in assignments online instead. Uhm... NO!

Sadly, this is not the first time a student has asked me this.

Nominal Data

In a recent assignment, a student in my graduate level statistics class defined nominal data as "data where numbers have names. Nominal data is used in sports where the numbers and names are used together on a shirt denoting a player."

Uhm.... I'm speechless.

Can I take your class but not actually attend?

Yesterday I got a strange request from a student. She wants to enroll in one of my classes in the spring, but she only wants to attend class twice a month because she lives in Houston. The class meets twice a week (i.e., 8 times per month), so essentially she's asking for an excused absence 6 times a month for the entire semester. Are you kidding me?? She apparently asked two other professors for the same favor. So she wants to get her degree from a university in Denton, but doesn't want to actually attend classes here. Uhm... don't they have universities in Houston??

Hints

For a project on diversity, a student wrote a paper about visiting a church that was a different denomination than the one she usually attended. She wrote, "The Methodist church is very different from my church. At my church everyone takes a bible to church with them, HINTS the name Bible church."

Due date extensions

Four days into a short semester (two days after the first assignment was due), I receive this e-mail from a student: "I just ordered my textbook today. Can you please extend the due dates for me." Uhm.... No!

Career Goals

Here are the career goals one of my students wrote in a document she is taking to her practicum supervisor (i.e., a potential future employer). Notice how specific and realistic they are (not!).

1 year- Within one year I plan to be working with children and families.

5 years- In 5 years I plan to be well off into my career. I am not sure if I want to go to graduate school as of now so I hope to have made up my mind by this time. I would also like to be working with families or children within an organization.

10 years- In 10 years I plan on being very settled somewhere and satisfied with my life. I have big plans for myself so therefore I'm sure I will have everything I want by then. My career, family and home are the goal. I want a business of my own working with families so by then I hope to have a plan for being on my way to life long success.

Test fishing

One student recently came in to go over a tricky multiple-choice midterm with me. We discussed why her answer on a certain question ("Which of the following provides an operational definition of the concept hunger?") was wrong, and why another answer was right. After some explanation, she said, "I understand why the answer I put was completely wrong, and why this answer is clearly right, but I still think I should get partial credit." So... for being completely wrong you want... to be graded as partially right?